Desperately seeking Saeeda

Gideon Bull
(nice hair sweetie)

A report appeared in a number of newspapers in January that raised a few eyebrows for those around Dewsbury MP Shahid Malik

It referred to Malik's ‘search’ or should we say his father’s search for a wife for his son.

It seems that Shahid' despite approaching his fortieth birthday is still to find himself a potential wife and Malik senior - feeling somewhat worried - was employing the services of one Allama Gee, known as the Pakistani Jerry Springer, who has some chat show or other on a London based Pakistani channel. (No i never realised there was one either, so much for integration!)

One would imagine that despite Mr Malik being pot ugly, a prick and surrounding himself with retards he’d still manage to be able to find a willing Muslim woman to marry - given the vast amount these MP's receive in pay and expenses and the numerous trips to Pakistan (all at our expense) and the fact that he's never off the tv (telling some fawning reporter or other some load of bollocks) but no, it would appear that he’s had no luck whatsoever in that department.

Or at least if he has he's being very quiet and secretive about it. In fact no one can ever recall him having a girlfriend or much caring for female company.

If Shahid would like to get in touch we’d love to hear how your search is going by the way.

In the meantime if you're still struggling could we suggest that you visit one of the many singles nights in the London borough of Haringey, where you seem to be spending a lot of your time.

(Haringey for the uninitiated is a shit tip in North London which if you knew no better you would think was somewhere in sub Saharan Africa.)

Anyway Shahid if you feel a bit nervous about going by yourself you could always take your ‘good’ friend and Haringey Labour councillor and fellow singleton Gideon Bull but don’t forget to mention it to your dad i'm sure he'd like to know you're doing all you can to find a nice wife.

Daily Mail report here